Update from 2022-04-11: I don’t agree anymore with my 10+ years old post. But it has some sentimental value, so I will keep it here.

I didn’t read a lot of books about human development, but I think I can share some thoughts based on personal experience and observations.

Sometimes I argue with people about genes, upbringing environment and other factors, that most believe to contribute to human development. A lot of people (especially the elderly) believe that genes dictate who the person will be. I tend to disagree. Genes are only a framework that defines the boundaries of human development. There are, for example, some illnesses that will pass from parents to children. Or, parents genes influence on some tecnical characteristics of a child brain (I am not sure). However, within this framework a person could be very different. But this is not what is important.

What is important is that the main attributes that embody a pesonality appear under the influence of the external environment. In particular because of parenting. I.e. external invironment influence determines if person will be hardworking or lazy, smart or simple, etc.

I don’t have any proof to the assumptions above, I can’t even provide some real-life examples. However, I strongly believe it is the truth.

On another topic, I have some real-life examples about a human cultural development. This is directly connected to parenting.

I’ve noticed since childhood that culturally well-off people almost always come from wealthy families. It’s not a coincidence. The reason is the problem pyramid (similar one to Maslow’s “Hierarchy of needs”). People always need some problems. If there are no problems at a base level, they find themselves some problems at a higher level. Eventually, they focus on cultural side which never comes first. Roughly speaking, they have time to think. To think what is important in our lives, what they should strive for, what they should learn and improve.

Some people visit theaters (which are usually not even expensive), others read a lot of great books, are interested in history. They think about what motivates people, motivates themselves. They strive to reach something better, that just human being. They look for causes of intelligence, reasonably follow moral and ethical laws. Of course this is not relevant for all wealthy people, but there is a correlation. Once people start to solve cultural problems, money become less valuable for them. Even when they lose money, they do not forget about cultural values. Moreover, they will likely easily earn the money back, as they know how to communicate, analyse and adapt, they know values of being a part of community.

You might ask: “Why do you write this?”. I want people to understand, that children should grow up well off and be raised with an emphasis on cultural development. They should understand, that if you want to accomplish something, you should act; if you want to be smart, you should learn; if you want to be influential, you should be communicative.

Surely you shouldn’t spoin children, as this will lead to the opposite result. But you should lead them to think about cultural problems. They shouldn’t be occupied by basic problems. And again, don’t spoil children! If a child asks something, it doesn’t mean you should comply. You are his/her parents: if you want to make a child happy, you should be able to understand his/her wishes without asking.

My assumptions above are reasonable. They are based on repeated observations both with my experience and experience of other people. If a person has grown up in a poor family (even if it is a decent one), he usually won’t want much from his life. It will be enough to have a car, an honest job, food and a roof over his head. I.e. his time will pass by watching TV, drinking with friends, working and sleaping. Thats all! Of course there are some exceptions, but they are undoubtedly caused by some external forces. If a person has grown up in a wealthy (and decent) family, he will think about bigger things than cars and tasty food. He will think about hypotheses, theories, connections. He will seek respect, not money (which will often still follow), will thing of solutions to cultural problems.

Surely you can disagree with my point of view. And if you have arguments in one or the other favor, please let me know.